So, love is a decent word. It carries all your pains and sorrows away. And love is patient. Love is giving. Love is forgiveness. And one day, when you find love, your dream is just become...

   Tuesday, May 27, 2003  

mixed feelings. tml is sports day. gmost likely also the last event for the Lignum 5th. excited. sad. tired. i dont know. today, on the podium, me n tseying watched the guys dance their cheerleading routine. it was very messy initally. but, towards te end, it became miracously good. the last 2 run were great. i really flt like crying. the sense of satisfaction n joy within me that i cant surpress. something is finally coming into shape. literally. finally, the squad that went thru quite a lot, esp recently, is making great progress. it has achieve some standard. hope all goes well tml. hope that the guys really enjoyed themselves n will have great memories. that will be my best conslation on all the hard work put in.
today, als, jon kao hurt his back when training pyramid for aqua. a real real shock. jut a day before the actualy day. coming down with a serious injury on an important person on the quad and a great frenz. i carried him up with ther guys to the linkway where he was sent to hospital by mr wong. think i kinda hurt my back while trying to carry him up the stairs. but, heck. hope he relly wld be alrte. aqua. dun fret... lets just pray hard for verything to go well...
tired. very tired n drained from the recent events. just wanna pass tml... but, yet again... the nostalgic feeling comes...
love, zHaN

   posted by zHaN at 5/27/2003 08:51:00 am






   Sunday, May 18, 2003  

ying told me that it is either we really can differentiate work n personal, or that we just dont care about each other. i told her its the first. she said that most prob true too. who ask girl to be another workaholic. now surface another prob... sometiems, i guess we really cant put down our own house stuff even when together. there is often this bit of thing occupying our brain that somehow will have to destroy a beautiful conversation. getting quite fed up sometimes. just really hope that this thing gets over n over n done with. i really dont want anything of such to come between us again... stressed and tired. thats apt to describe.
recently hse stuff have been like stock market. i was kind of being damn sacarstic in every sentence i said for the past week. ying told me that too, and she herself also. somehow, i guess they finally got our idea and suddenly, 2 of them volunteered to help do things. hope this is another turn for the better, like what happen last year, days before ndc. but, for others, i dunno what to say. MIA. thats it.
concerning the hse camp, not very happy also. i dont know that the central com is doing. well, i bet no one knows much about the camp too. one ear in, one ear out. pay how much attention also only know this little bit. it is gonna be carried in a few days time n WHAT IS THIS? well, recces cancelled. y? teachers disapproval, i have nothing to say. IC uncontactable, i have something to say. WAKE UP! (sorry, bad pun). i dont know how everything will go. i just feel like washing my hands off it...
well, on a lighter tone, some interesting things. Alene asked me if me n ying together. lol. made me n ying nearly laugh n roll... then, agnes said me n sister together. haha. another gao xiao xing dong... ying really laugh till pEnGz... ok. nvm. forget it. =)
love ya lotz girl (the real one..),
zHaN

   posted by zHaN at 5/18/2003 06:03:00 am






   Sunday, May 04, 2003  

today, i was dragged to a church by my mum. nope, my family isnt christian, but my mum's close frenz is. today os ehr husband's 49th day after he passed away. it was quite an experience for me though. it is the first time i stepped into a place where chirstians placed their ashes. it is indeed very different from a chinese buddist one. no joss (duhz), but the room is full of flowers (real n fake), like a paradise. also, i noticed that carved on the marbles are words such as... "returned home", " called home", "rested". interesting. didnt regret going there... kinda tired. now. yawn...

   posted by zHaN at 5/04/2003 05:37:00 am






   Saturday, May 03, 2003  

these few days, things seem to have taken its route, back on track. life goes on as usual. no more surprises, no more sadness. in fact, i didnt regret spending so much time sending her home that day. however, it didnt know what came over me today. i just have to destroy it. felt really bad. there is an urge to just go kick the balls. but... i guess i was just too pure crazy. thinking about it now, i felt really really guilty. i dont know what to say. dont know what to do. sometimes, i realy wish that we speak our hearts. dont tell me that the email about guy.girl's language is that true? perhaps. but... sometimes, i really dont understand... this time, i really regret my actions... do give me a chance... i swear by name of my own's pig honour there will be no second... i love u...
zJ

   posted by zHaN at 5/03/2003 09:51:00 am